There’s a reason why hotel sex is so good–you’re on vacation! You’re moving away from your go-to routine, which, however great, could always use some variety of relocation. And what better way to mix it up than a king-size bed, fresh sheets you don’t have to clean up, and (if you get the post-boning munchies) room service? Whether you do it on the bed, in the luxury shower, or, hell, on a desk chair, here are eight positions to really help you enjoy your stay.
A Room With a View
Use the huge picture window for some pretend exhibition. Wait until night and you’ll be able to see everything and everyone outside, but they can’t see you. Have your partner hop aboard the standard-issue accent chair while you climb on top of them. Remember to turn off ALL the lights in the room and obvs don’t be on the first floor or it gets way too real!The All-Inclusive
Now’s the time to bring out that one vibe that’s really, really good but a little too loud for home. Try doggy with a reach-around by the giving partner. (If the giver is using a strap-on, a wearable one that vibrates will do a li’l something for them too.) And if it sounds like a chainsaw is going off in your room, well, let your hall mates wonder. It’s not like you’ll ever see them again!The Four-Poster Fantasy
Stand on the pillows (again–not yours to wash!) and face the wall, grabbing on to a bedpost and propping a foot on the headboard. This works best at a bed-and-breakfast where defiling the dainty space seems extra dirty, but any room with a headboard or bedposts will do. Usually, you should be totally present with your partner, but in this case, feel quite free to press your cheek against the old-timey wallpaper and have a full-on historical romantic fantasy. You can tell them about it as they f*ck you...or not.The Do Not Disturb
Hotels always have huge mirrors that are perfect for watching yourselves having sex. Find that mirror, drag a chair or that flimsy luggage rack thing over there, and start making out, murmuring something like, “Look how hot we look.” Tell them you want to watch as they slide inside you, and prop your leg up so you can both see how completely sexy you look. There’s a reason people are voyeurs and exhibitionists—do this and you’ll see why.
The Wake-Up Call
Sleep in as long as you like and wake up slowly. Start the day by lying on your stomach, opening your legs a bit, and letting them slide in from behind. After sharing a bed all night, your bodies will be relaxed and ready for each other (especially because of the glory of morning wood), and since you’re facing away from your partner, no worries about the non-glories of morning breath.For Adults Only
Anyone can turn on the computer and wank to some porn, but there’s something delightfully forbidden and old-school about checking out the “adult channel” that still exists in every hotel. Suggest seeing what’s on (this is even more effective if it’s out of character for you) and position yourselves facing the TV. If you’re feeling it, copy what the actors are doing. Be as loud as you want (because, hotel!). If you receive a noise complaint, count it as a badge of honour.The Upward Affair
A hotel is ideal for acting out a fantasy role-play. The best part is, you can be absolutely anyone. Seduction of the room service delivery guy/maid? Adulterous lovers secretly meeting for the first time? Put your ass at the edge of the bed, legs over their shoulders, and have them lean down between your legs. Just throw yourselves into it. Role-play is weirdly freeing because it’s not “you,” it’s your character.
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